As the words were spoken, there was no lightning nor thunder. There were no shaking of tables, chairs or the floor. In fact, the words were spoken right into my face by a friend in the midst of a fast food outlet, over a cuppa coffee.
I felt my whole body being flung to the end of the room (while I was still physically and calmly seated where I was as the conversation continued). I don't think my friend sensed anything amiss.
I couldn't understand what happened, or why that happened. I did not dismiss it for it was very real to me. I could not utter it to another, as yet... So I cherished it in my heart in the Lord.
Eight years on, I saw some light to that encounter.
"Take some time to feel how God feels about the House of Prayer." These were the words that were spoken over the microphone in the House of Prayer, before we gathered in groups to pray. I was like, ok, that's heavy duty stuff. Let me mull over it more...
And so the pieces began to form together...
When I continue to muse over how God feels about the House of Prayer over the next few days, that same encounter came. No, I wasn't flung this time (we should not overtly put attention on our encounters per se)... It was a similar encounter - that kind that you know it is so huge it could almost destroy you, that the encounter will burst deep within you and you just can't contain it. By God's grace, I felt 0.00000000000000000000000000000000001% of it, and knew it was something really really really big time on God's heart. An understatement! Arrghh... can't even find the right words to describe it!
Flashback to the fast food outlet... my friend was sharing with me what God wanted him to do in Singapore - to establish a 24/7 House of Prayer in Singapore. At that time, I was at the crossroads in my career - I had just applied to a two-year overseas posting that could propel me further in my career path. I was subsequently offered the job and was taking some time to make a decision.
I reasoned - two years will pass by quickly. And I could still join in building the House of Prayer when I return to Singapore. Then he said, as a matter of fact-ly, not so much to appeal for me to stay, that the starting years of the building process is a journey that nothing can be compared with. That it would be in the formative years that we grow in the Lord, with one another and in understanding God's heart for the House. This reply, was the very thing that flung me to the end of the room. Eight years on, my heart testifies that it is true...more than what the experiences and journey had brought me (including the heartaches), it was the knowledge that God sees, and that this is something on His heart and He appreciates every builder... woosh... this is enough for me...
God feels intensely towards His house. Psalm 69:9 ~ "Because zeal for Your house has eaten me up."
I want to remain ruined, undone, eaten up... I want to go on holding close to my heart what matters to His heart. It's so easy to forget. It's so easy to sidetrack. It's so easy to let it all go in the name of valid reasons. But O Lord, according to Your tender mercies and faithfulness, never let me go... let me remain... eaten up...
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