Sunday, June 26, 2011

Painful Stage


No pain, no gain... and just how long can I sustain in this pain?

But thanks be to God, who reveals just what I needed to press in... pain... the pain of knowing that I have not got it (deep things of God) yet, the pain of knowing that I need to stretch to get it, the pain of knowing that it's just round the corner but you don't know how long more...

Err... let me see, how do I utter "thank You Lord" in all sincerity of my heart in the midst of it all? But all I really want to say is "forgive me Lord... I want more..."

The pain I'm talking about, is the realization that I've been shortchanging myself in my pursuit of knowing God. I've often stopped short at the 'revelation' stage and have never really pressed in deeper. I have subtly allowed myself to 'overstay' in the revelation stage, cos it feels good!

Revelation is necessary, as it inspires us to go deeper. It awakens us deep within in our pursuit of knowing God. Like a carrot ^_^. Yet it will be 'wasted' on us if we do not treasure it by responding to it. What is God saying to us? What is the message on His heart? What does He want us to do? We need to respond with our heart, for negligence to do so will reap a dead-sea syndrome - full of knowledge but no life...

Perhaps I have been pressing in for more, but vaguely, 'hoping for the best' kind of pressing in. >_< why do I feel so wretched? It's like it's mine (my portion and inheritance to know God deeper still) yet I forfeited it out of my own human folly and I-think-I've-had-enough-for-now mentality.


The Three Layers of going deep in God
1. Revelation - often the 'feel good' stage where God strikes one's heart with a truth.

2. Wisdom & understanding- ability to make sense of the revelation and live it out progressively.

3. Insight & clarity - knowing the heart of God and ability to pull together the word/message in a big picture / scheme of things, bringing conviction to self and others.


This kind of pain, I don't really want to 'pray away', but I will ask God for grace in the pressing in. My confidence is that if I ask according to His heart for me, God will surely answer it. Praise God for sacred assemblies in prayer & seeking His face (night & day, Lord!), nudges from like-minded community of friends in this pursuit and godly teachings.


Matthew 5:3-12
Blessed are the poor in the spirit
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven

Blessed are those who mourn
For they shall be comforted

Blessed are the meek
For they shall inherit the earth

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness
For they shall be filled...

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

How You move my heart...

[I was surprised out of the whole set of songs, it was this one that choked me to tears. Oh man, it was only the second song. I got to hold it... composure please!! I learnt from Ryan Seacrest of the American Idol that to stop the tear tap, just breathe in deeply. So I took a deep breath, and blew...erm... straight into the mic!! LOL!

No matter how small our ALL may be, I'm giving it all there is to me.. what touched my heart was God's response to me as I sang this line in this chorus line in the prayer room. He said it's precious. Small? It's precious to Him BIG time. Oh, how He moves my heart!

After two deep breaths, I continued singing... oh God, this all I have, I want to multiply it, I want to give you more, just like how with a few ingredients, I can cook many dishes, in all creativity and love. Yes Lord, with what I have, I give to You. I want to give You more...]

C G Am F

You’re beautiful

Worth it all

You're beautiful

Worth it all

Beautiful (My Beloved)


No matter how small my all may be.

I'm giving you all there is to me.

No matter how small my all may be.

I gladly waste it at your feet.


My heart will go hard after You

All the days of my life


My soul it longs for You

In a dry and weary land

My soul it thirsts for You

In a place where there’s no water

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

I LIVE FOR THE DAY

[Meditating on the whole counsel of God has caused me to be speechless, blown away and erm... plastered to a wall. I am left dumbfounded, in pieces (and wanting) and un-scrappable (from the wall, that is). And I'm just at the tip of the iceberg... I'm so waiting for myself to get over it, in a good sense, and go deeper, seeking more understanding and revelation.

The whole counsel of God, as what I recently heard from a teaching, speaks of what God has done for us, what He is about to do (shortly) and what will happen in eternity. My whole mindset of Christianity has been so skewed to knowing "one-third" of the good news of the gospel that I'm prying my mind and heart to seek the other "two-thirds" of the good news. Not that I have attained full knowledge and understanding of the one-third.. but seeing the fullness of the good news is simply awesome... beautiful!

Praise be unto God who Himself is revealing more and more of the good news to the Church. He who changes times and seasons, removes kings and raises up kings, gives wisdom to the wise, knowledge to those who have understanding (Dan 2:21) is unravelling His beauty... May we behold this beauty... all the days of our life.. This song is a heart-response to the whole counsel of God, as I heard it... may I live for the day of His coming...]



Intro: D E


King of kings, Lord of host
He's coming in the clouds in that day
Jesus, our Bridegroom God
His searching eyes are looking for His bride

(So) I live for the day of His coming
I rejoice, be glad, make myself ready
And enter into the joy of the Lord
And reign with Him eternally

I live for the day of His coming
I rejoice, be glad, give Him the glory
Forsaking it all, be found at His feet
O Lord, keep my heart burning


The Spirit and the Bride say 'Come'
The Spirit and the Bride say 'Come'
Come Lord Jesus....


(And) I live for the day of Your coming
I rejoice, be glad make myself ready
And enter into the joy of the Lord
And reign with You eternally

I live for the day of Your coming
I rejoice, be glad, give Him the glory
Forsaking it all, be found at Your feet
O Lord, keep this fire burning...

Saturday, June 04, 2011

Burn

[What more can one ask when our heart moves at the sound of His voice... oh that my heart always move, when I hear His voice. May knowing God be the one thing I seek, all the days of my life....]

C G C G D

I want my heart to burn within me
I want to love You like You love me
I want my heart to burn within me
Awaken love...

Come light the fire within me
Come fan the flame
Come light the fire within me
I want to burn for You

So draw me away
Draw me away to Your secret place
Draw me away
To see Your face, hear Your voice

For when You speak
My heart it moves
For when You speak
My heart it burns
For when You speak
My heart it yearns... for more of You
 
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