Carrying Our Hearts... well..

As we weather through the storms of life, major or just trivial, our thoughts and our emotions are evoked. While we handle these situations / people based on our existing set of values and outlook, some incidents can impact us to view or handle things and people differently.

A consistent question I would always ask myself would be - how should I carry my heart? Surely I want to ride on the ups and downs to grow my heart, and not allow situations and people to embitter or shrink my heart. Above all else, I want to guard my heart, for it is the wellspring of life...

I've held on to a few principles in managing situations and people (including myself!):

1) Giving people / situations the Benefit of Doubt

There are ok days and there are also off days. I constantly remind myself not to take things personally and to give grace to myself and others. i.e. to overlook offenses. Quoting from Proverbs 19:11 - "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." and Proverbs 12:16, "A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult."

However, if there is a consistent pattern (of attitude or negative behaviour) that raises a concern, I will weigh the pros and cons before confronting the issue (with myself or others). Certain issues can be dealt in a 'roundabout' way. Other times, it will take a deliberate effort. I will hesitate to say or do anything if the parties concerned are not in my inner circle of influence. Why so? Because my good advice may just fall on deaf ears. Worse still, my intentions may be misunderstood.

2) What is the Main Issue?

This outlook helps me see the big picture and not be too caught up with the 'rights' and 'wrongs'. Once I see the main point or in mandarin they call it zhong dian, all things will somehow will fall into place. However, it takes two to clap - both you and the party (ies) invovled need to be open to see the big picture and not be over calculative about who-said-what and who's-at-fault etc. Of course the apt sorry's are necessary too.

3) Timing - knowing when to talk and when to be silent

There are some things that does not get better even if you work at it - talk through or explain or clarify. When we give time, events may unfold to vindicate yourself. However, sometimes things are swept under the carpet till another episode rakes it up (which is unfortunate if things are still unresolved).

Through it all, I ask God to grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference...