She requested nothing (Esther 2:15)

God has given us many promises - both to lay hold of (that will come to pass in that Day), as well as to claim even now (in progression)- both individually and corporately. Recently I lost heart. I could not stand up to the accusation I hear - from myself and from the enemy - where is the outcome of promise that God gave me? I knew many of the prayers I pray are received by God and collected in the bowl in the heavenlies, and in the fullness of His time, when the prayers of the saints are complete, He will act. He will surely act.

But I'm losing heart. I told God... I can't go on without seeing any fruit of my prayer in the earthly realm, perhaps not the fullness, but just a glimpse, can? I was being honest with God. Flesh and blood as I am, I was losing heart. Like doubting Thomas I needed to see some tangibles. God, I'm praying in an almost empty room... Nevermind that... I tarried for Your presence... where? when? Perhaps I lost faith, faith that comes from the word of God (Rom. 10:17). So I struggled... cos when I pray, I pray with faith and with my heart... and it is getting into low batt mode :-x

Little did I know that God was encountering me in this struggle. What?! I did not expect an encounter with God to be so 'uncomfortable'. Perhaps I boxed my own understanding of encounter with God as one that is 'nice' and 'heavenly'. And then after the encounter I would drift and cruise in faith. Ya, perhaps sometimes it's like that... but sometimes it's not >_<|||

I was reminded that the greatest reward in building the House of Prayer, in christian living... is not answered prayer. Run that by me again? I'm speaking to myself! Yes, it is not in answered prayer, so shift your focus my dear... No, I still will pray in faith, know what is on God's heart, and lay hold of His promises in all intensity and seriousness. I do it in all soberness and my might because it is on His heart and I partner with Him. Yet, I'm reminded that at the end of it all, my greatest satisfaction and reward is in the Lord - that He knows, that He hears, that He sees, that He is faithful, and He is in control! My God, He is sitting on the Throne... Dan 7:9-14, Rev.4-5. Why am I fretting?

After this reminder, the whole issue over my struggling and looking for glimpse la, answers la, faded away in an instant. I can't believe it. I am just... healed! More than that, I have no other request from God. The Holy Spirit brought to remembrance the verses I read before in Deut. 10:9 and Gen 15:1 - that those who keep watch in the House of the Lord, the Lord Himself is their inheritance. He is our exceedingly great reward all in all! No Lord, I have no other questions... I have no other request from You. I erm, just had some bad case of amnesia lately but the Holy Spirit helped guide me to Your word and the verses kicked in me and woke me from my grappling. Struggle? No issue God. Do you see my dreamy eyes of lovesickness? You are mine! I have no other request...

The book of Esther gives us an allegorical picture of how the Bride of Christ is being prepared to reign in victory with the King in the midst of conflict, spiritual warfare and persecution. Chapter 2 shows God looking for a bride and how He raised up virgins (depicting believers) and started the preparation process. When it came to the time to draw near to the King, Esther's focus was not in any requests she can ask from the King (Esther 2:15). After a lengthy process of preparation (12 months) and the Holy Spirit's guidance, she drew near, in love, and she won the favour of the King's heart. It pleased the King so much that he crowned her the queen. There is a way to 'win' God's heart. There is a way into God's heart, if only we yield to His ways...

And later in Chapter 5, the King said gladly that he would give up to half of his kingdom to her, if she would only ask. This gives us a glimpse of Bridal Intercession - God desires that we come before Him as a lover, as a Bride, in asking for the things on His heart.

My prayer and heart cry is that the believers in Singapore will say yes and walk into the preparation as a Bride of Christ. Weak as we are, with occasional amnesia (arrghh!), may we grow in the very journey He will lead us, individually and corporately, of making ourselves ready for our Bridegroom God.

His way, His timing, His plan... we say yes, we say come!