Tuesday, April 26, 2011

There is Joy... by Your side

As a House of Prayer, we went into a season of seeking the face of God (Hosea 10:12) for 40 days. We were moving forward as a House to a new season and therefore, we wanted to hear specifically from the LORD so that we may align ourselves according to His heart in order to move “from Hebron to Jerusalem”.


As I went about seeking the face of God in solitude, I asked the Lord two questions - "Who are You, Lord?" and "What am I to do?" for we were encouraged to hear God for ourselves as we forge ahead.

On the 35th day, the word of the Lord struck my heart. It gave me courage in the next season ahead. It answered ALL my questions... can't believe it (out of amazement and not so much disbelief)... He did it AGAIN. I just can't believe it that it is so simple for God to 'fix me'. LOL... if you know what I mean. One word from Him settles it and answers all my questions and fears and anxieties...


THE JOURNEY OF THE PAST SEASON
All through this past season, my own report card aka evaluation for myself is one of 50-50. So-so. Hits and misses. Aha-cum-ah-ber-thens. In other words, as I looked back retrospectively, there was not a clear ummph in propelling me to move ahead with confidence - that I have completed what God has in store for me in the past season and moving on with great resolve to the next season.

If I were to paint a picture of myself, it will be one of a person carrying a bag of rocks, holding a walking stick and plodding on despite the dirt-on-the-face and blood-on-my-knees. What a sad state! >_< Maybe a close-up picture would reveal something more encouraging - an unfazed determination to want to keep going, albeit the need to stop and rest and consolidate. It's almost like God saying, "Hey beloved, get rid of the rocks, gear yourself with faith and perhaps you can go higher."

God sees and knows best.

As I sought His face, seeking to inquire of Him and hear God for myself, I faced many "dark night of the soul" moments - depression, uncertainties, fears, anxieties, self-doubts etc etc... Evey time I get down, I just keep getting up, hoping that I will not run out of strength to plod the uphill climb... again and again. I admit I was living in fear... in fear that I would give it all up...all... including God...

God knew and He was not offended, for He knew me...

Perhaps He is allowing all these, so that I would know me...

Whenever I went before the Lord, it was out of the poverty of my spirit. I had no medals to flaunt (God, I read ten chapters today), I had nothing spiritual to say. All I had was a cry in my heart. It was a cry for help. It went on like this for weeks...

And God heard. He hears even the faintest whispers that no one hears, not even ourselves.

"A bruised reed He will not break, And smoking flax He will not quench..." ~ Isa 42:3


THE BREAKTHROUGH
It started with a song that I was singing to the Lord. That afternoon, I could hardly read the bible (except out of duty), but I could worship, which I'm thankful for. As I sung the lyrics, I flipped the bible to read up and meditate on it.

"My beloved is white and ruddy,
Chief among ten thousand.
His head is like the finest gold;
His locks are wavy,
And black as a raven." ~ Songs 5:10-11

I never really got past this verse. The word of the Lord so struck my heart that I broke down and responded to Him in tears.


"WHO ARE YOU, LORD?"
Through the verse in Songs 5:10-11, God gave me the assurance that He is DEDICATED and COMMITTED to me. His dedication is His nature, His trademark. Nothing could change that, not even my failings and faithlessness.

It struck my heart because it's all I need to know as I forge ahead. This revelation silences all my anxieties and fears, for if God is dedicated and committed to me, what is there to be afraid of? Who are you o great mountain?

Again in Phil 1:6, we read, "...being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.." and in Songs 1:11, "
We will make you ornaments of gold, w
ith studs of silver." i.e. The Triune God is committed to us - both in molding in us the very character of God and our ministries to shine forth in the righteousness of God.


THE JOY AS I FORGE AHEAD
There is an indescribable confidence as I forge ahead - not of myself or what I can do. There are still some (technical) questions here and there but their presence did not leave me doubting or in want. There is a peace deep within that as I continue in this new season, I can face them - ups and downs and come-what-may.

That I may just keep leaning on Him...

May I hold dear what this 40-days of seeking His face has brought. I could do without all that jitters but oh well, the journey's well worth it! For the joy of the revelation of the Lord outweighs all the temporal 'sufferings'.

Truly, there is joy in the House of the Lord!


A SONG UNTO YOU (BY YOUR SIDE)
I want to be
By Your side
I want to be
Close to You, Lord

To hear what's on Your heart
To know what's on Your mind
To hear what's on Your heart
And run with You (by Your side)

For only You, can satisfy
For only You, can see the movements of my heart
For only You, can hear my cry, for more of You

My beloved is mine
My beloved is radiant
He's dazzling and excellent
(He's committed to me)

Friday, April 22, 2011

Open up the door

My current favorite worship leader!

My favorite chord progression!
C G AM F

Oh if we could only see the Man
With the eyes like a flame of fire
A fire
He is the sign,
He is the wonder

You're fairer
Than the
Sons of men
The Chief
A...mong
Ten thousands

My beloved is mine
My beloved is radiant (ruddy)
He's dazzling and excellent

I believe that there's an open door for me
I believe that You delight in showing mercy

So take me away
To where You are

Saturday, April 02, 2011

You are the King of Glory

C G C G Am F

You are the King of Glory
You are the Lord Almighty
You are the King of Glory
Lord of all

Jesus take Your place in our midst
Jesus take Your place in lives
Jesus take Your place in our midst
We say "Come!"


 
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